I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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