what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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