I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
