I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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