So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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