I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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