I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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