Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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