Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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