Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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