im drinking this country out of the recession.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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