I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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