member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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