marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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