paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
