whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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