We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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