I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
