The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
