True but thats because hes a fetus.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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