you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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