she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
