I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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