Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just found a bag of teeth...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
