I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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