All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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