OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can I color on your dick again?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
