To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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