My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize