I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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