p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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