its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
