Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
