Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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