At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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