That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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