I want to have your abortion
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
