You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize