we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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