Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize