I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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