Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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