You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
