TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
