Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
