why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
