Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
