New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
