It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
