Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
