We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Randomize
