Already got asked if we're dating
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
