I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
