**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize