WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
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It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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