Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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