is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
