Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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