people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
