she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
