You really coming over, don't trick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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