Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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