3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
