Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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