I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Randomize
