just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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