fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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