Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
