And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
